I am going grey. The ripe old age of 24 and I am going grey. The other day I found my first ever grey hair on the left hand side of my head, right above my ear. My first reaction was of surprise, naturally. What are you doing in there, I asked it. I grabbed hold of the silver intruder between my index finger and thumb, and very nearly yanked it out before suddenly remembering someone once saying that if you were to do that, then two would grow back in its place. I decided better of provoking this kind of vengeance upon my head.
Several days go by and I think nothing of it. Until today that is. On the right hand side of my head, above the ear, is another identical grey hair. WTF!! They protrude from the sides of my head like a crazy pair of miniature horns. However much I try to flatten them down they just spring back up. This is not a good look. I'm now worried that when I next go for a haircut there'll be a secret army of them waiting to spring out. Who knows though, maybe they'll end up looking like a cool streak like George Lamb, or perhaps a sliver of silver...like Rogue from the X-Men. But then, what if it ends up looking like Louis Walsh's barnet? Or worse - Sven! At the rapid rate they are sprouting the possibilities are endless.
The image of Ace Ventura having his breakdown in the shower scene enters my mind. It seems appropriate for my predicament. I shake the thought away as quickly as it appeared. So what if I'm going grey. Loads of blokes my age have specks of grey area and shades of the wiser follicle. A boy in my school's hair started receding when we were 14! Haven't seen him in years but he must be balder than Lex Luthor right now. I'll be grey by the time I'm 30 and it's all good. I rub my fingers through my fine hair like the blokes off the Just For Men adverts and steal a line from another - "Because I'm worth it."
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