Monday, 14 December 2009

Crouching Tiger, Swinging Nordegren


With the continuing Tiger Woods saga tarnishing his career, forcing him to retire from the game he dominates, losing his fans, his sponsorship deals, his credibility, his wife, his car, and some teeth apparently, I have thought of five moves Tiger Woods could make next when the storm dies down:

1) Take up a hobby. Perhaps carpentry may be of appeal - Woods by name, woods by nature. A fine selection of wooden tigers, lovingly hand-crafted, could be a delightful peace offering.

2) Become the face of Frosties cereal. Tony's getting on a bit now and Kellog's will need a new tiger. Plus, everyone knows the crunchy, frosted flakes are just grrrrrrrrrrreat.

3) Hang out with Mike Tyson. Mike likes Tigers. Tiger needs a bodyguard from the Mrs.

4) Release a single - "Eye of the Tiger." Err...actually on second thoughts, maybe that's a wrong choice of song words.

5) After spoiling the wife and begging for forgiveness, Mr Woods needs to show the world he has a heart. He should therefore donate several millions to cheated wives or endangered tigers, and then appear on Strictly Come Dancing.

My only fear now is for Roger Federer. After this scandal and Thierry Henry's cheating hands lets hope there isn't a curse of the Gillette advert.

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